In my post before, I had mentioned on how my beginning of
2018 was almost got me die struggling. But I survived. That's the most important part. Now when I look back to
last year (it’s past midnight here Malaysia time), it was actually pretty good.
The beginning was terrible but starting from the mid year, I managed to have better
grip of my life. I would not claim it as an excellent year but looking at the
fact that I was not rushed into an emergency room this year, I think 2018 had
been kinda great. The highlights of my 2018 are:-
Brightsides
- Met some new friends. Reliable ones, I tell you.
- My grade? Average as usual. (definitely not a highlight)
- My face is healing.
- Had only once or twice mental breakdown in public – minus the time when my boyfriend left me off at the airport.
- Got rejected by my 8-year crush.
- Got together with my 9-year admirer lmao.
- Finally met someone who constantly putting effort on me without having me begging.
- Been loving myself a little bit more than before
- Stepped outside of my comfort zone – started working as a part-timer!
- Girlfriends got married and I managed to attend both
- Actually bought a plane ticket instead of only surveying lmao
- Went hiking
- Visited new places
- Explored Penang more!
- Managed to drag my lazy ass out from my room
- Made it to my girlfriends’ graduation day
- People around me have been doing great
- BIGBANG released Flower Road
- Seungri managed to feed our starve during BIGBANG’s hiatus
Downsides
- Face massive breakout and all swollen
- Still bitter
- Getting farther from the Creator
- Ungrateful
- Procrastinate too much
- Movement still slow af
- Still can’t cook to save a life
- Spicy tolerance got reduced
- Haven’t recovered from allergies to seafood
- Still can’t be at my parents’ house more than a week
- Still a crybaby, childish af
- Going off grid whenever drowned in emotions/thoughts/problems
- Isolating self
- Still a freaking burden to everyone
- Got clingy af, worse than before
- Failed to finish my reading challenge
I cannot think of more. But whew looks like the bright ones
have outdone the down ones. So now I am pretty convinced that it had been a
great year.
What should I pray for 2019? Well well, I pray to:
- be closer to Him
- stop being a fcking burden to everyone
- speed up! Stop moving like a freaking snail
- be less emotional
- cry less
- stop depending on people
- have better perceptions of my own family
- be able to call my parents’ house as ‘home’ again
- be more grateful
- talk less
- tone down the cursing
- earn more money
- be a better daughter/sister/friend/girlfriend
- stop procrastinating fgs
- write more
- read more
- reduce the use of social media
- love myself more
- be more responsible
- gain better grades
- buy from Bookalicious again
- travel more
- attend my girlfriend’s wedding
- not die
- not experience a family member’s death or sickness
- be nicer (ain’t getting there), but colder (already getting there)
- have better skin
- stop holding on to the pasts
- not being lazy at taking care of my own self
- be less bitter
- more confident
- become happier
- be healthy – emotionally, mentally and physically
- cut off more toxic people
- closer to nature
- stop crying myself to sleep
- drink more water
- not having any mental breakdown in public
- cut off all the unnecessary smiles on my face
- be the old me who was way less friendlier
- learn After Effects and Illustrations
- have better sellings
- witness BIGBANG’s comeback
- attend my man’s graduation (but this ain’t happening unless if someone drops 5K into my bank account)
- see everyone I care about have better lives
- receive His blessings
- explore more place in Penang
- etc.
- have a better year than all the previous years combined :’)
For now, let’s settle for these. Guess I might need a
checklist for all these. Cheers, young bloods!
