Wednesday, April 26, 2017


Semicolon (;)

Image result for semicolon suicide awareness

I had never known about this until it suddenly appeared on my Twitter's timeline. First, I was attracted to the tattoo drawn on the wrist. People usually have this tattoo on their wrists so I looked up for the meaning. Once I read the meaning, I had never wished I could have a tattoo so bad in my life. If I could tattoo myself because for fuck's sake, I would absolutely have this tattooed on me if I could. I have been hooked since the beginning because I feel like I can relate to this.

No, I do think I can relate to this.

I have always been depressed. It's not that I'm diagnosing myself or what but yeah I am actually meeting a counselor right now because the counselors suddenly ambushed us during class to answer the depression/anxiety/stress test. Guess what? I totally nailed it. Out of sudden I got a call from a counselor, asking me to have an appointment with her. I refused at first but then since she was pleading me so nicely (and I am sucker when people talk nicely to me including the salesgirl), I agreed. So yeah, that's that. Don't worry, I am not going to kill myself, my good deeds aren't even that much yet. Still a long way to go, yay me. 

Okay, I wrote crap.

I am sick of the society judging the suicidal victims and putting all the blames on them. Yes, they took their own lives. Yes, they did it themselves. Yes, everything was basically their faults. But have you ever taken your time to sit back and think of the reasons that led them to actually do it? The force that had been pushing them to the edges? The fingers that pulled the triggers? I bet you have never done that. All you do is blaming everything on them and obviously they can't speak for themselves since they are dead. well, unless if they have left you letters or notes that explain themselves. But still, even if you read their letters, would you ever try to put yourself in their shoes just for a very brief moment in order to understand them a little bit more? No, I don't think so. It's true that they chose to leave you, someone who loves them dearly. They chose to be selfish and left everyone who loves them behind. But can you please open up your mind more and think more deeply about their situations? You might not know something about them, something that they have been keeping in them and now taken into the graves. Seriously, have you ever thought about that?

Now you're speechless.

I am not saying that I'm actually approving their acts. I am not even enabling them. what's wrong is still wrong. Nothing can change that. what I'm trying to say here is, instead of blaming them 100%, can you please be more understanding? Their situations might be understandable and make sense to you once you have opened up your mind to actually think about them and their situations. Because sometimes, they are just the guns. But people are the ones who actually pull the triggers.