Wednesday, April 26, 2017


Semicolon (;)

Image result for semicolon suicide awareness

I had never known about this until it suddenly appeared on my Twitter's timeline. First, I was attracted to the tattoo drawn on the wrist. People usually have this tattoo on their wrists so I looked up for the meaning. Once I read the meaning, I had never wished I could have a tattoo so bad in my life. If I could tattoo myself because for fuck's sake, I would absolutely have this tattooed on me if I could. I have been hooked since the beginning because I feel like I can relate to this.

No, I do think I can relate to this.

I have always been depressed. It's not that I'm diagnosing myself or what but yeah I am actually meeting a counselor right now because the counselors suddenly ambushed us during class to answer the depression/anxiety/stress test. Guess what? I totally nailed it. Out of sudden I got a call from a counselor, asking me to have an appointment with her. I refused at first but then since she was pleading me so nicely (and I am sucker when people talk nicely to me including the salesgirl), I agreed. So yeah, that's that. Don't worry, I am not going to kill myself, my good deeds aren't even that much yet. Still a long way to go, yay me. 

Okay, I wrote crap.

I am sick of the society judging the suicidal victims and putting all the blames on them. Yes, they took their own lives. Yes, they did it themselves. Yes, everything was basically their faults. But have you ever taken your time to sit back and think of the reasons that led them to actually do it? The force that had been pushing them to the edges? The fingers that pulled the triggers? I bet you have never done that. All you do is blaming everything on them and obviously they can't speak for themselves since they are dead. well, unless if they have left you letters or notes that explain themselves. But still, even if you read their letters, would you ever try to put yourself in their shoes just for a very brief moment in order to understand them a little bit more? No, I don't think so. It's true that they chose to leave you, someone who loves them dearly. They chose to be selfish and left everyone who loves them behind. But can you please open up your mind more and think more deeply about their situations? You might not know something about them, something that they have been keeping in them and now taken into the graves. Seriously, have you ever thought about that?

Now you're speechless.

I am not saying that I'm actually approving their acts. I am not even enabling them. what's wrong is still wrong. Nothing can change that. what I'm trying to say here is, instead of blaming them 100%, can you please be more understanding? Their situations might be understandable and make sense to you once you have opened up your mind to actually think about them and their situations. Because sometimes, they are just the guns. But people are the ones who actually pull the triggers.


Syafiqah Nadiah Mohd Azlan said...

This is such a sensitive topic to talk about but I'm glad you brought it up. I really agree with your points. I once had a discussion in class about suicide and it honestly open a whole new perspective for me. People are often too quick to point fingers, needing somebody to blame for suicides and it almost always falls on the victim. Have they ever think about what those people have in their minds. Most people who commit suicide always suffer from at least one mental illness if not more. They're mentally ill but they are still capable of thinking and making decisions, especially one that involves life or death. People don't just wake up one day and decides to kill themselves (they do, but rarely act upon it, most of the time it's a cry for help). Those who actually commit suicide plans and calculate, with precision. They know their decisions are gonna hurt a lot of people, their family, their friends but sometimes there are greater things that we often miss, which is their suffering. We dont know how much it hurts for them to wake up every morning and feeling like the world is crushing them down. Sometimes that pain is bigger and greater. These people didn't ask to be born with sufferings and it's not their fault their brain works a little different from everyone else. I am NOT agreeing or saying that suicide is okay and I'm sorry if what I said gives off the illusion that I do. What I am saying is there are greater things, complexity of the minds that we just cant unravel and understand the things things that lead to people committing suicide. And I am definitely not talking from the aspect of religion. This is why people with suicidal tendencies dont reach out for help because society blames them rather than helping.

Syahirah Berhan said...

You're studying psychology so I actually assume you have more to say compared to me. Now that you've mentioned it, it came to me that the victims were most probably cried for help. Now I feel bitter, thinking if someone grabbed their hands to help them. And yes, I can't agree more with your last sentence because it's the damn painful truth in this cruel world. They don't usually help. Instead, they make things worse. That sucks. A lot.