My final result is out.
Alhamdulillah, I have finally managed to feel how getting 4.0 is lol. Don't get me wrong. I am not bragging about my pointer here, I am only telling my pointer here because it's the result for my practicum slash Teaching Practice so yeah most of my friends got 4.0 too.
What did/do I feel?
At first, I didn't feel excited about my GPA at all because I was so busy focusing on my CGPA. So when I saw there's no change in my CGPA, I looked up at my GPA. And then, there it was. My 4.0. But I felt nothing. I kept questioning about my CGPA. I ignored my 4.0. Plus, someone tweeted that 'it was only the practicum so yeah of course everyone got 4.0' bullshit. To make it worse, I let the thought got into me.
How foolish I was.
Later then after I gathered myself back, I thought about it again. So I thought that getting a 4.0 for practicum might be a common thing but duuuuuude I was
suffering tortured in order to get that. It was one hell of a journey. I had migraine for the whole first month of practicum, I shed loads and loads of tears, I was greatly depressed (not to mention I was handling with my breakup during that time), I even burst into tears in class in front of my students (I knew it was so unprofessional to do so but I really couldn't help it by that time), I was struggling to do my lesson plans because I had no laptop for the whole practicum period so I had to borrow from my friends (thank goodness I was in evening session so I could use my friends' laptops whenever they didn't bring their laptops to school), financially unstable since we practicum teachers did not get any allowance and all expenses for teaching and projects including the worksheets were on us, I got negative vibes from the school and a lot more that I don't feel like stating everything here. But yeah after all those stuff I had gone through, I thought to myself- I deserved the result. I gained it.
"And (remember) when your Lord proclaimed, 'If you are grateful, I will surely increase you (in favour): but if you deny, indeed, My punishment is severe.'"
So now, let's pray for my degree, will ya?