Did I Make The Right Choice?

Well, I think I did.

After all the wrecking phase I had gone through, I have finally found peace again. I managed to gather all of myself and plant my feet on the ground again. I succeed in surviving the pain and I am proud of myself because of it.

Most of all, I feel relieved.

I kinda find peace in being alone. Of course there would be times when I miss to have someone to talk about everything to but hey, I think I could survive that for now. At this moment, I am free to do whatever I want to without having to consider of someone's feeling. Well, I still have to think about people's feelings but you get the idea, don't you?

So yeah, I think am sure I've made the right choice.

"Relax your heart sometime after it has been used,

verily the heart will be blind when it is in hatred."

- Saidina Ali bin Abi Talib

(Aiman Azlan & Ameen Misran's The Other Side of the Coin)

Ramadan Kareem

Everyone is being all excited, aye? Well, me too.

When I was younger, I used to love Ramadan because it meant we're going to celebrate Eid after that. Which also meant, we're going to have new stuff especially new clothes. That was one of the things that I would be looking forward to because I barely bought new clothes before. As I grow older, my intentions tend to change from time to time. And as for now and the previous few years, I would say that the thing I love the most about this holy month is because all the deaths will have some break from being tortured under there.

The deaths stop being punished for awhile.

Someone who was so close to my heart died 6 years ago and ever since then, I would be looking forward for Ramadan and not the Eid. This is my sixth Ramadan without her. I would be thinking about her a lot when it's Ramadan. It's not that I don't miss her during other months, it's just that Ramadan is the month I would be thinking about her the most. I barely get excited over Eid anymore. My heart aches whenever I hear takbir raya. I could be angry if someone was playing takbir raya before its time. 

I pity the deaths, I pity her.

I hope all of us could mend ourselves during this holy month. I wish I could get better too. Who doesn't want to be a better person, right? In syaa Allah, from time to time, things will be better, including ourselves. Salam Ramadan Al-Mubarak!

"O Turner of Hearts, make my heart firm upon Your way."

- Prophet Muhammad PBUH

Jeez, that sounds so wrong coming from a satan /facepalm/.