It was 2008 when
we first met. You were in a different class but I was close with your classmate
so I was always in your class for no reasons at all. You were close with her
too. So we started to greet each other and talk.
We had become
close.
You were nice, I
liked you. I kept on going to your class, not to specifically meet you but
seeing you would be nice. I tend to sit at your place and write stuff that I
can’t even recall anymore now on your desk and you were so nice that you would
neither erase them yourself nor let people did it for you. Once, your friend
wanted to help you cleaned my doodles on your desk and all you said were “Let them be, later she would do it herself”
because you know that I would erase my own doodles whenever I wanted to make a
new one.
So I liked you
even more – platonically of course.
You and me… we
are both from the same hometown so when holiday came, we would be accidentally taking
the same bus together all the way from school back to Shahab Perdana. I don’t
know if you remember this but you used to help me carried my bags.
We had become
closer.
My class was the
worst class in our school’s history, the teachers went berserk and shuffled all
the form 2 classes. You told me you would not know what to do if we turned out
to be in the same class because of my clinginess. Yet your words came true – we
got into the same class. Poor you.
And of course,
we got closer.
As always, I
would go to your place. To talk to you, to annoy you, or just to be there next
to you. Little did I know, you have become the comfort I’d never had. You have
forever refused to say things like “I
miss you” but who am I to you to demand such thing but you also have never
raised your voice to me. My lioness would turn into a kitten just at the sight
of your angry face – that is how much I respect you and really think highly of
you. There was this one time when I was in a bad shape and asked you to leave
me a letter of comfort before you left for your rugby tournament and
surprisingly I did get a letter. You have no idea how much it means to me, how
your words managed to wrap my sadness.
You are always
here and there.
You were there
throughout my high school life. You are still here until now even when the high
school has ended years ago, I will forever be grateful for this. You came all
the way to Kuala Lumpur when I asked you to go to the hot air balloon festival
together because you could tell that I was not in a good state. You helped me
again. You always managed to see right through me, even at the times when I try
to mask my pain. We rarely either talk or contact each other but I know you
would always be there. Of course there are times when you hurt me – intentionally
or not – but I guess it’s fine because it is not your fault I am an
oversensitive lady lol. You do not really show me the affection yet you have
always pampered me in your own way just like a brother taking care of his
little sister but does not really want to make it obvious. There was this one
time when I said it out loud to the girls at our school that you’re my best
friend and one of them asked me back, “Does
he think of you in the same way?”. The question managed to cut deep into my
heart and it still hurts me to this day. To be honest, the question haunts me. There
are so many things that I have been longing for you to say but I know well that
it is better for me not to push my luck.
It has been 11
years.
It overwhelms to
witness all the changes that are happening in both of our lives. You have
reached the adulthood life, I am just a step behind. I see you loving your
girlfriend and I swear to God I am sincerely enjoying the scenes. I cannot
thank her enough for making you this happy and also for respecting the bond we
have. People have been saying that a man and a woman can’t be friends but then
there are you and me – an evidence the world has yet to see. We have grown, my
man. You and I – both of us have grown to be fine adults now. Although I know
the struggles would still take centuries until they are actually done messing with
us, but I believe we have somehow happened to be good. We are good, my man.
Well, at least
you are.
I won’t lie to
you that it does not sadden me at all to see both of us drifting apart as we
grow older but I need to understand that it is just another form of growth. We are
still good despite the lack of communication. We barely talk once a month now. But
we’re good, I believe it is. I have to, but I know you would agree with me.
And today is
your birthday.
You have turned
24 years old today, same age as mine. But you have always been more mature than
me. I pray nothing but the best for you. If I could pick the star for you,
believe me I would. Because that is how much I think highly of you, respect you.
I am your biggest fangirl after all. You deserve everything for staying with me
this long, I wish I could give you the world just merely because you have been
my comfort since day one – one I didn’t even realise I needed. I am here for
you if you ever need me for anything. Anything at all. Have wonderful times
ahead.
Happy birthday,
my forever best man.
