Bonjour?

Since there is a fan of my blog who kept asking me to post a new entry (Fahmi) ehem and a silent reader who loves to read the old entries (Adlina), here am I, writing a new post for you guys to read. Or you may leave if you want to, I won't beg you to stay.

Annnnddddd, hello there.

I didn't want to post a new entry actually but I had nazar if I get good result for this semester, or another chance as we can say, I'll write a new one. So, you are reading this which means "Alhamdulillah, caek made it again" muehehehe. Thank God because He granted my prayer again so another 4 semesters to go and after that, the real journey of life begins. Begins. Batman Begins.

Actually, it has already begun but oh well you know what I mean.

I haven't write for a very long time so obviously I have lotssss of stories to tell but weirdly, I can't think of any right now. *sigh* As usual, I will let my fingers dance on this keyboard and write anything that they want lulz. Okay keep dancing, fingers! Let's give you something to read.

Do you wanna know what happened to me recently?

Okay. I am actually having fun (not really) enjoying at home because I'm in the middle of semester break. Fine. In the end okayyyy, in the end. *sigh* I'll go back to Maxisegar techenta this Thursday, can't wait to meet Kakjah! Ahahahahaha andddd you know it's a lie. I and The Lengais planned to move out from that Maxisegar by this coming semester but sadly, we haven't found the right house yet. Plus, we don't have enough people to rent a RM1100 fully furnished apartment at Pandan Heights so we end up stuck in Maxisegar with new juniors which I really can't tell if it's a good news or a bad news. What do you think?

Whatever you have in mind, keep it to yourself hehe.

As you can see, I changed my header and the song. Well, I am madly in love with Taeyang's new album Rise okay dah stop sat g hampa maki sebab masuk Kpop ahahahaha. And I have a gif of The Basic at the sidebar yay! You really have no idea how much I miss The Basic and cursing them everytime they refused to come and see me urgh. Back to the blog, hope you like the new header and the song. I keep changing the header and customize everything since I am getting older, so does this blog, well I think a blog should get matured too kan in line with the age of the writer ehek.

Yes, yes I know I am at the of my 'teen'. 

I'll be 20 next January, the oldest in The Lengais. After Afrinaa lah, of course ahahahaha. How fast time flies haih. It feels like it's only yesterday I came back from PLKN. Okay talking about time kan, time flew really fast during semester 2. I was getting through all the bullshits and the hectic semester well, I think. But I miss semester 1's classmates more. Not everyone but most of them lah. And I really love everytime we have small reunions though I am not talking to some persons yet I won't let them get me *flips tudung*

What else huh?

I really have nothing in mind right now except than the damages I caused at Mama's car and how rebellious I am right now but I really don't want to talk about it here. It's a family matter anyway. And I don't think I should promote my brother's business here. He is selling Lenovo's phones and powerbanks. Tart nenas too if you live around Alor Setar. But if you can insist, you can click here ----

Facebook: BT Ohana

Instagram: @btohana

Okay done with the promoting.

Can I tell you about my next semester? Oh what the hell, I'll tell no matter what you say. So, we have been using the pointer system at college and I believe everyone's college does use this GPA system. But we are arranged in classes according to the pointer. I don't really like the idea of this system but it wasn't that bad actually. So there's a news that says we can choose our own class for next semester just like at HELP University. It's good but everything has it own pros and cons. The cons for this new system is, we have to arrange our own timetable which I think it's kinda hard to do but I'll try to arrange everything well. In syaa Allah, I'll be in the same class with Ruby ihiks.

Ramadhan is coming.

It kills me to not breaking fast on the first day at home. Earlier this semester, most of us thought that our sem break would be during Ramadhan which later, we knew that we just fooled ourselves lulz because I'll register for the new sem this Friday and if I'm not mistaken lah kan, Ramadhan starts on this Sunday so yeah. What a great schedule I have.Plus, we only got 3 weeks of break for this semester k it's sad but let's be thankful hehe. And please pray for my new sem to be another great semester though I'm pretty sure it's gonna be more hectic than before.

Maybe I'm done. Are you okay with this, Fahmi Athirah Ad?

"I hope you will find your niche soon because otherwise people will never stop comparing!"

- The Rhymeweaver

Confession #7

Death.

Everyone will face death one day. No matter how far you run, you still going to die sooner or later. Kan? Because we belong to Him, our Creator.

Actually, I don't really want to talk about death in this entry. Thinking about death itself pun makes me die slowly haih.

I want to talk about arwah tok.

Frankly speaking kan, the more I think about this, the more I realize that I don't really get over about her death yet. It has been four years. I have live without her for fucking four years!

It is so unbelievable.

After tok died, I burst in front of Mama once, the night tok died and after that never again because I know it will only hurts her more. Even now pun whenever she hears a song about death pun she'll cry. And I understand how she feels, she's the last child.

Can you feel that?

Arwah tok has her own comb. A teh-O ais colour of comb. And after she died, I took the comb. I use it since then and now and I am still using it. Even her clothes, I told Mama that I want them. Those remind me of her. I don't know if I am actually torturing myself or what but what I know is I miss her. A lot. Like seriously a lot.

It breaks my heart every single time.

Last week, I was doing my Grammar assignment and suddenly there was a sentence 'The old man walks with a stick' and I was like 'Tok pun guna tongkat jugak. Eh lama tak sembang dengan tok,  nak call tok ah' and I did pick up my phone and was about to dial Mama's number and ask her to pass the phone to Tok but then I realized that … she's gone. She's gone for years and why was that happening to me? I cried so hard that night but I didn't call Mama.

It really really breaks my heart.

Ever since then and now, I always think of her out of the blue. She suddenly pops into my mind and then my heart sinks and I cry and things go on. I don't mean to cry. It just happens just like that.

What can I do about it?

O Allah, I'm sorry for being so sad about You took her away from me. I know You love her more than I do. Please take care of her and forgive our sins. Aaminnn.