Tuesday, June 14, 2016


Guess who just got dumped again? Me.

Well, being dumped by someone is not something unusual for me. I got dumped a lot. Seriously a lot, either by boys or friends. So I thought I had gotten used to the feeling. Apparently, I was wrong. And it was so hurt that I shed a tear.

Never thought it's going to be that hurt lol.

It hurts once you realised that someone whom used to be so dear to you has cut you off from his/her life. The worst part of it is- you are left hanging without any explanations. Everyone deserves an explanation. Everyone deserves to know what did they do to that someone to deserve that. I do know people come and go, and there is nothing that we can do about it but whatever hurts still hurts. I am not even talking about a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship here. I get way emotional when it comes to friendship.

Because for me, being dumped by a friend without knowing why is the most painful one.

If you really know me, you would know how much I don't like people. How I prefer to keep my circle small. So when I was in boarding school, I didn't bother to be friend with seniors or juniors. I mean, I did make friends with some of them but the number was small, I think I could even list the names down if I wanted to. Okay, I am talking crap.

Here's a detail: it's a she

Me and a few of my friends were close to this one lass. We were close enough to sleep together on weekend nights, close enough to skip evening prep class just for her, close enough to let her wrote in our notebooks and close enough for her to buy us foods (buying food to someone is a big deal okay). But after we got out from school, she was fading away. Things started to change. At first, she cut my friend off from her life. I was paranoid ever since then because social network was the only place for me to follow her life, so I was afraid she would cut me off too.

Well, she did. I just found out about it this morning.

I stalked her almost everyday so believe me when I say I could tell she was still in my following before. We never contacted each other anymore. She never replied to my comments anymore while she replied to other comments after me. I did get hurt, I used to idolize her. As I said, we were close. So I never said anything about it. But this morning once I realised that I have been cut off too, that was hurt. A lot. And I keep thinking to myself ever since then, "What did I do to her? Where did I do wrong?".

Maybe I am just not good enough to be in her life anymore. Who am I?

So let's move ooooooooon because there's nothing I can do about it. We can't beg someone to stay, aren't we? I wish that lass happiness and may He protect her no matter where she is and bless her soul because she is a very kind person.

Til then, sayonara.

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