Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Confession #10

Oh God, I miss everyone at school. By school, I literally mean school. My primary school and high school. My SK Taman Uda and MRSM Kubang Pasu. SMK Sultanah Bahiyah? Well, a lil bit.

I really miss everyone. I miss the feeling of being in schools; the feeling I had when I walked anywhere and there would always be people around me; the feeling I had when I looked at a stranger but he or she was not a total stranger as both of us were actually in the same circle; the feeling that made me thought that I was not the only who was going through all the freaking hardships. You know what I mean, don't you?

And I looked at people, a lot.

I have always loved looking at people, staring at them while thinking what are they doing and why. I looked at people a lot when I was in schools, especially during high school. The block was square so it was easy for everyone to have a look at someone else. Including me.

I remember ...
1. When I was in form 1, I would stand in the corridor in front of my class looking at Kak Shark or Abang Is yelling "Roll-call" from below, from the tapak roll-call, and other students would run. It had always been a chaos, y'know.
2. When I was in form 2, I always looked up at the classes across mine. They were seniors'. A year older. I looked at those seniors going back and forth, laughing hysterically. It was more to 'observing' instead of 'looking', actually.
3. When I was in form 3, I kind of had a crush on this someone. His class and his seat could easily be seen from my class so yeah I always looked at his way. The sad part is, he never noticed. Not even once.
4. When I was in form 4, my class was at the top floor so it made things easier for me. For someone who loves to look at people. I spent most of my free time with looking down, looking at anyone my eyes would catch. I really love observing people, okay.
5. When I was in form 5, my class was in the lowest floor. Kinda easy for me to do my observation. I did a lot of them. I even stared at my boyfriend's not-so-secret-admirer who was always looked at him but he rarely noticed. Instead, I was the one who noticed all the time. And I swear I felt like throwing something at her just to make her stop the staring. For the record, she took a picture with my boyfriend who was wearing black sleeveless shirt (which made him look kinda hot but it was in the past lol) and made the picture as her profile photo on Facebook. I was mad.

And I am being emotional here. Sorry.

So I am only publishing this after this draft had been saved for months lol.